By Kole Omotoso

They began where all quarrels begin, at the beginning. In the beginning was the word and that is where it began, words of the mouth. Can you imagine two or more dumb people quarreling? Especially, if they were blind together with it. Without outsiders working them up, no quarrel could begin. Because that is what Mouth does. He can’t keep itself shut. The Mouth insists that what the eyes see the Mouth must say, what the ears pick up the Mouth must drop off. Did you see what I saw just now? What did your eyes just saw now-now? You mean you did not see what every eye on earth saw just now? If you are not going to tell me what you saw, please stop dancing around with your mouth. Now, it is from accusations of blindness to insults of frivolity. Thank you. The thank you was accompanied with a slap that could be heard in all the neighborhoods. Mouth wanted to reply with an equal slap to be heard in the neighborhood but the face would not stay still and be slapped. So, Mouth resorted to its usual thing – insult after abuse after curses. Finally, the headman of the neighbourhood told Mouth to go and have a watch. If not he would order six of his men to wash her Mouth for her. While making this threat, the headman had chairs brought out, two kegs of evening palm wine still covered with white and floating dregs. Glass mugs with handy handles came in a wide big bowl. Four men and two women constituted the council that would hear the case. Someone must have begun from the beginning but was not allowed before abuse was lavished on him. The mugs of palm wine was making its quiet motion from left to right and then right to left. Of course, palm wine attended to with such devotion would not last, anyone can swear. Two more kegs were fetched but alas not of the same quality; which made the councilors pay some attention to the matter in hand.

I asked him if he saw what I had just seen. He wanted me to tell him what I had just seen. At which point the other Mouth picked up, interrupting the first Mouth.

It took some time to restore order again. The first Mouth tried to have her say but she did not have a chance. In the first place, first Mouth did not like palm wine. Water was wine enough, for her, sifted through all the cloud colours until it was colourless, and best. At the later noisy drinking stage, less drinking was done than more talking. All the men and all the women wanted to talk all at the same time. Did I say all? Impossible! There was one exception, the chair-person, who put her glass mug to her mouth and brought it out without diminishing the quantity of her palm wine. She began to demand silence until there was been-drop silence. She let the silence last one minute before she began to speak.

Nature creates as well as recreates ridiculous situation. At the end of colonialism in the 1960s, it would have been ridiculous if the educated elite in, say Nigeria, had listened to the Adunni Oluwoles as they described the life of misery and poverty that awaited the Nigerians in the hands of their projected incompetent politicians who were waiting to take-over the post-colonial government from the British. There is no comparison in the situation of ex-colonies and the Afghanistan of today. Britain did not spend millions, not to speak of trillions of dollars, building infrastructure in the colonies. Britain did not build and equip a modern army in imitation of its own, nor did they leave behind pristine equipment to be inherited by the colonial army.

So, it is ridiculous for Afghanis to accuse Americans of abandoning them to their country and betraying them by not taking them along home after exploiting them and killing their leaders. Promises of colonizers must be respected by the colonisers. Especially, if the colonizers promised to help to build the nation, a responsibility, which the Americans are now denying.

It would be of interest to historians to see what happened to American colonisation where they followed where the British had been. With the exception of Latin America, which hardly existed in the time of the British Empire, their fate has been the same. Anyway by now both sides ought to know that no foreign country comes in to build the nation for another.

What the eyes of the first Mouth saw was a Rainbow, a very controversial item of phenomenon. You know the first item of phenomenon? It is the disputed existence of the white colour in the colours of the Rainbow. There is white in the colours of the Rainbow. You only see him when the colours are quarreling.

Red usually begins the quarrels because it sees nothing but himself first and foremost. I’m the greatest. I’m the one and only. I’m the alpha and the omega. At which point the colour White interrupts to insist that he was the beginning and ending. I am the beginning of the Rainbow and the end of the Rainbow. No way. Each colour has only one place, maintains Red.

Green takes over the boasting stopping both Red and White. Everything is me before it becomes anything else. The grass is green. They are only rotting if they leave green.

Purple hardly allowed Green to finish before launching her own campaign. Power was her own. She was the element of all power here and hereafter.

Time was running out. So Blue jumped in and Indigo rushed in and Violet would not be left behind. There was chaos, palaver and rogbodiyan!!! (trouble). At which point the Creator insisted that everything is from as well as to the glory of God. The clouds rumbled in thunder and skies exploded with lightning. And the colours were wiped away. And White wanted to claim aloneness but he was silenced. Everything, from henceforth, is the plaything of children.